I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.

Day Thirty
How has Harry Potter changed your life?

I love this question. It's so broad and ridiculously serious. Like they expect my answer to be, "Without Harry Potter, my life would not be worth living. I think about people without Harry Potter in their lives and it just makes me want to, like, cry!" Even though I'm sure my heart would go on without him (I think Celine Dion wrote a song about that), knowing Harry makes my life a heck of a lot more enjoyable.

It's funny, as two years ago for NaBloPoMo, I wrote a post on this very subject. I'll just copy and paste it for your convenience. (Side bar: I spelled "convenience" right on my first try just then! That NEVER happens.)

"My grandma came to visit for my brother's baptism and like any grandma, she had gifts in tow. I got a pretty ring that I would wear for years and my little brother received Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone. There was enough hype that I was familiar with the title, but I didn't know what to expect. I remember starting to read it and not budging for the next three or four hours until I was finished.Chamber of Secrets and Prisoner of Azakaban had already been released, so I devoured those, too. Then the interminable waits between books started and along with the waiting came the insufferable fangirl period. I can't say that J.K. Rowling got me reading; I've always been a reader. But I can say that she got me writing, so for that I'll forever be indebted to her."


That's still true. But as I was thinking about my answer, I also realized something else about how Harry Potter changed my life. MuggleNet.com launched in October 1999, which is the same month I started reading the books. The summer after, I discovered MuggleNet and a whole new world of fellow fans on the internet. I knew nothing about message boards, fan fiction, caption contests, and other things that my parents were sure would lead to me getting murdered by a crazy person. My interest slowing grew into an obsession, such as checking the website daily and developing a huge internet crush on Emerson, the young founder of the site. (Dear David Fincher & Aaron Sorkin, This would make a great movie idea, but for the record, I clearly deserve the credit and profit. Best, Gretchen Alice) I soon found about about The Leaky Cauldron and The HP Lexicon.

In conclusion to this thirty day adventure, I'd like to close by saying that yes, Harry Potter was my gateway drug to the internet. And here we are today.

Oce-what?

Day Twenty-nine
What would your animagus form be?

We don't have any certain proof about whether or not your animagus is necessarily the same as your patronus. Prof. McGonagall's cat form is both, as was James Potter's stag. But I really don't see Snape's animagus turning into a sprightly young doe. Based on this theory, my animagus would be tweaked just a little from my lioness patronus. I would be an ocelot--something more rare and smaller in stature.

Ocelots are adorable. I'm adorable. It only makes sense.

They're magically delicious!

Day Twenty-eight
What is your favorite magical treat?

For being British, they sure eat good food at Hogwarts. (Burn! Also, totally unjustified stereotype!)
I made my own version of butterbeer years ago. It was basically steamed milk with butterscotch flavoring...yum. But I'd have to say that the Honeydukes Sweetshop sounds like my kind of store. I'll take a pound of fudge to go, please.

Least favorite magical treat? The annual obsession with pumpkin that crops up this time of year is beyond me. Pumpkin beer sounds absolutely horrid.

Best Chapter Title: An Excess of Phlegm

Day Twenty-seven
Top three favorite chapters

This one had me stumped. I don't really think in terms of chapters, I think in terms of stories. These probably aren't my favorites, but I sure liked 'em.

1. Sorcerer's Stone, Chapter 11, Quidditch
I love our first introduction to the madness of Quidditch. I don't care for sports, but I could read about Quidditch  matches FOREVER.
2. Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapter 18, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs
The one where everything (and everyone, in the case of Snape) gets exposed. Fantastic.
3. Half-blood Prince, Chapter 30, The White Tomb
This is my favorite ending of all the books. Oh my gosh, I cried so many tears.

The Wand Chooses the Wizard

Day Twenty-six
What magical job would you want after Hogwarts?

After Ollivander bites the dust, I'd want his job. I love the idea of the complexity of finding the perfect match and watching young witches and wizards find their first wand--the key element that symbolizes the new world that they've just entered. The substance of working with the materials that actually make the magic sounds so alluring. I can't think of a single muggle equivalent to being a wand-maker. You know what's disappointing? Realizing your dream job doesn't actually exist.

Honest question: Does anyone have a movie they like BETTER than the book?

Day Twenty-five
What scene from the books do you wish was in the movies?

Can I pick three? This is my answer, so I'm gonna do whatever I feel like.
1. Neville going to visit his family at St. Mungo's in HP & the Order of the Phoenix. This sin of omission a large part of the reason why I can't bring myself to like the movie.
2. Hermione's S.P.E.W. obsession in HP & the Goblet of Fire. Whatever, maybe it's not exactly relevant to the main plotline, but it says so much about her character and the way that she works.
3. The tumultuous background of James, Lily, and Severus in HP & the Order of the Phoenix. While I applaud the decision to cut HP & the Deathly Hallows into two movies, OotP also would have benefited from a movie splice.

Happy thanksgiving, for those of you USA-inclined! I made the P-Dub's pecan pie from her recent throwdown with B-Flay and it was delightful.

Also awesome: Snape and the Mysterious Ticking Noise

Day Twenty-four
Favorite Harry Potter-related GIF/Photo/Fanvid, etc.

Fan videos are the time suck of my life. So here, while you're waiting for pie to bake (like I am right now), enjoy a Pride and Prejudice/HP crossover.



Bonus photo: Hipster Harry, Ron, and Hermione--OF COURSE HARRY IS WEARING  A SCARF. (via)

Happy Thanksgiving! I'm grateful for all of you putting up with my lame excuse for blogging this last month.

It's a comedy of sorts when you're bound to Voldemort

Day Twenty-three
What is your favorite friendship?

While this is by no means canon, I love everything about the way the Quirrell/Voldemort relationship is portrayed in A Very Potter Musical.

Anything off the trolley, dears?

Day Twenty-two
What is your favorite mode of magical transportation?

I don't know. It's late and I'm tired and cranky, but for the sake of the question, I'm going to have to go with Mr. Weasley's concept of flying cars. 'Cause that would just be SWEET, y'all. Or maybe the Hogwarts Express, which by all common appearances is just a train, but they've got really great concessions.

Camelot! Camelot! Camelot! Oh, it's only a model.

Day Twenty-one
Which actor would you want to meet?

I'd want to meet Richard Harris, the original Dumbledore. Much to my everlasting dismay, he passed away in 2002. I like Michael Gambon just fine, but I loved Richard Harris. Plus, he was King Arthur in Camelot, a musical that played an integral role in my childhood. (Because, you know, movies about marital problems and adultery and betrayal should be the basis for every little girl's growing-up years.)
Also, the dude was a STUD when he was younger. Consider the following...

Runner-up: Emma Thompson, which is sort of cheating because I wouldn't bother with Harry Potter talk. I'd want to chat about every other awesome movie she's made. That woman is the bomb-diggity.

Nineteen Years Later

Day Twenty
What would you change in the epilogue?

I believe it's been very well established on this blog that I am a big ol' sap. Due to this, things like cheesy epilogues and happy endings work marvelously for me. Bring it on, I say! The more the merrier! So what would I change? I would have introduced some slight element of conflict that would need to be resolved by Harry and Ron, Aurors-at-law. (At least, that's what I imagine their tv show being named.) This would lead to a further series of books and that way we could also get more history for what happened in those nineteen years. All I'm saying is that I would be content with a book for every year of Harry Potter's life. Seven just doesn't seem to cut it.

Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!

Day Nineteen
What is your favorite quote?


Three of my favorites from the Headmaster, all from the Sorcerer's Stone.


"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that."


"The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution."


"Your mother died to save you. If there is one thing Voldemort cannot understand, it is love. He didn't realize that love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark. Not a scar, no visible sign ... to have been loved so deeply, even though the person who loved us is gone, will give us some protection forever. ... It was agony to touch a person marked by something so good."


I saw the movie this afternoon. I loved it more than I ever thought possible--more about that later.

Infatuated

Day Eighteen
What would your love potion smell like?

Like any good perfume, mine would have three distinct notes.
Top note: Almond extract--the secret ingredient in my mom's cherry pie.
Middle note: Clean laundry--my favorite smell in the whole wide world. In college, I would study in the laundry rooms.
Base note: Sesame oil--Rich, nutty, just a little bit can change the flavor of a dish. I've always thought it was one of the more intriguing staples for cooking.

Death may be the next great adventure, but that doesn't make it suck any less.

Day Seventeen
What death shocked/hurt you the most?

Sometimes it feels like literary deaths ache worse than real-life deaths--after all, I have suffered through far more literary deaths in my life. But then I think back to those that I have known in my life and I know that I'm being foolish and their loss is much more a part of who I am. Yet at the heart of it, I am also a reader that attaches herself all too fully to fictional characters and this creates a very emotional reading experience. I was thinking about this the other day at my local library, as they recently moved the Young Adult section. I walked down the aisles to acquaint myself with the layout and ran my fingers across the spines. Every few books or so I would come upon a title that I once read and instantly be transported back to where I was when I read it and how I felt about the plot and characters. It was a very emotionally exhausting trip to the library.

Even at twelve when I first read Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, I knew that not everyone was going to make it out alive. You can't pit a boy against a dark lord without there being casualties along the way. The first emotional punch was Cedric Diggory and you simply must read Sarah's answer here. And then the next book brought the demise of Sirius Black and that one just made me irrationally angry. Dumbledore was, of course, hard to handle but it did not come as a shock. Before HBP came out, I watched a special on Joseph Campbell where he was explaining archetypes and I thought to myself, "Oh, then Dumbledore has to die so Harry can fight the end battle on his own." (Same with Luke and Obi-Wan.) It sucked, but I coped.

So my answer to the question? When I was reading HPatDH, I got to the part where Hedwig died and I lost it. Completely. Obviously Hedwig played her part in the books, but her death essentially meant that IT WAS ON. No character, human or non-human, Death Eater or Order of the Phoenix, was safe. Dobby, Fred, Snape, Tonks & Lupin, and so on. Each brought a fresh set of tears and a renewed appreciation for the wonderful world that I'd been allowed to be a part of. If you'll excuse me, I've got to go clean up. It's been raining on my face just now.

(Ashley once made a list of the deaths in Harry Potter because she's Ashley. Check it out here.)

Hufflepuffs are great finders!

Day 16
What house would you be in?

I feel like I have SO MUCH to say about this topic, but I had my first day of work today and I am so out of it. (For the record, I picked up a seasonal job at a major department store...it's not anything terribly exciting, but it is WORK.) But the way I view the house sorting is like the way I view the color test, except that I think one is amazing and the other is totally bogus. (Hint: It's not the sorting that I think is totally bogus.) Anyhow, this one time in my high school career class, we took the color test and I was 30% blue, 30% yellow, 30% white, and 10% red. So in comparison, I'd say that I'm 30% Ravenclaw, 30% Hufflepuff, 30% Gryffindor, and 10% Slytherin. But if I got to choose like Harry did, I'd pick Ravenclaw. What's up, my nerds!

But you know who IS an awesome character? Rufus Scrimgeour

Day Fifteen 
What are you top three least favorite characters?

Without any explanation, because I'm sure you all feel the same way...
3. Percy Weasley
2. Cornelius Fudge
1. Dolores Umbridge

ETA: Gah! I can't believe I spelled Rufus' name wrong. Also, this list is based on my personal disliking of the character in question. Obviously there are WAY more evil characters out there; these ones just rubbed me the wrong way.

Loony, Loopy Lupin

Day Fourteen
What is your favorite spell?

This is one of my favorite interactions in the series. To this day, it slays me whenever I read it.

Rude and unmanageable as he almost always was, Peeves usually showed some respect toward the teachers. Everyone looked quickly at Professor Lupin to she how he would take this; to their surprise, he was still smiling. 
"I'd take that gum out of the keyhole, if I were you, Peeves," he said pleasantly. "Mr. Filch won't be able to get in to his brooms."
Filch was the Hogwarts caretaker, a bad-tempered, failed wizard who waged a constant war against the students and, indeed, Peeves. However, Peeves paid no attention to Professor Lupin's words, except to blow a loud, wet raspberry. 
Professor Lupin gave a small sigh and took out his wand. 
"This is a useful little spell," he told the class over his shoulder. "Please watch closely." 
He raised the wand to shoulder height, said, "Waddiwasi!" and pointed it at Peeves.
With the force of a bullet, the wad of chewing gum show out of the keyhole and straight down Peeves's left nostril; he whirled upright and zoomed away, cursing. 
"Cool, sir!" said Dean Thomas in amazement. 
'Thank you, Dean," said Professor Lupin, putting his wand away again. "Shall we proceed?"
-Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, page 131

I think it'd be hysterical to have this spell at my command. And out of sheer laziness, I think the Accio! spell is brilliant.

Favorite animal character: Crookshanks

Day Thirteen
What pet would you want to have?

The meme specifies either owl, cat, rat, or toad, but I don't like limiting myself. I would unquestionably have an owl--it's only practical. Also, I love getting mail. He would be a barn owl named Atticus. (Seriously, go google "baby owls." It'll be the best part of your day.)

As a self-proclaimed cat person* I would also need a cat. Or rather, since this is the world of magic, I would make them kittens forever. I've wanted a Siamese kitten ever since reading Lillian Jackson Braun's The Cat Who... series in middle school. This little bundle of fluff would be Persephone.

Remember my post from forever ago about teacup pigs? Well, I would have a teacup niffler...or two. Take that, J.K. Rowling! It's a no-brainer, right? These two would be named Newt and Celestina, after Mr. Scamander and Ms. Warbeck respectively.

Confession: Maybe this wasn't so much an homage to the Harry Potter universe as it was an excuse to post cute pictures of animals.

*My friend Steve likes cats. People are always saying “Oh, Steve’s really a cat person”. No, he’s not. If Steve were a cat person it’d be, like, “Hey, Steve never goes in the pool." -Demetri Martin

Dumbledore's Army

Day Twelve
Who would you be friends with at Hogwarts?

I'm not sporty enough to be friends with Angelina and the quidditch girls, not funny enough to be friends with Fred, George, and Lee, not stupid enough to be friends with Pansy, not boy-crazy enough to be friends with Lavender, not fashionable enough for the Patils, and Hermione would just view me as a threat. Based on that breakdown of Hogwarts social circles, I would be a reluctant part of Cho Chang's group, until I would break off from them in my fifth year to be friends with Luna and Neville. I would also have a mad crush on Seamus Finnigan and Colin Creevey would hold a very unrequited torch for me.

Annnnnd I now have the urge to write myself into the books.

It's not quite as good as winning Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile five times in a row, but...

Day Eleven
Who is your favorite professor?

Even I thought I was going to say Professor McGonagall (as my friend Vienna so deftly illustrated in her post), as I started to think about Gilderoy Lockhart, I realized where my true allegiances lie. He's just so...smarmy. I love how Hermione is completely smitten with him.  I love how he acts like he's all that and a bag of chips, but when push comes to shove he ends up being this enormous pansy.This isn't even a new character idea or anything, but it's danged effective in CoS. He gets some of the best lines and his cameo in OotP is kind of heartbreaking. Kenneth Branaugh's performance in the movie sold me on the character 100%.

Ministry of Magic Classificiation: XXXXX

Day Ten
What is your favorite magical creature?

Whew, I'm calling it close tonight. So let's hear it for the Chimaera!
Newt Scamander's ground-breaking work, Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them, has the following to say on the subject.
"The Chimaera is a rare Greek monster with a lion's head, a goat's body, and a dragon's tail. Vicious and bloodthirsty, the Chimaera is extremely dangerous. there is only one known instance of the successful slaying of a Chimaera and the unlucky wizard concerned fell to his death from his winged horse shortly afterwards, exhausted by his efforts. Chimaera eggs are classified as Class-A Non-Tradeable Goods."
(And the note from Harry scrawled in my book reads, "So Hagrid'll be getting some any time now.")

Basically all I'm saying here is that I would love to see a Chimaera-based Disney movie on how Chimaeras are totally misunderstood despite their freaky deaky physical appearance. There will be singing.

And speaking of misunderstood magical creatures...



(Edited to add: Wow, I got weirdly confused on the days there. But now all should be back to normal. It's that darn Muggle Daylight Saving time!)

Girl, the back of your head is so riddikulus

Day Nine
What would your boggart be?

I really really really really really don't like rattlesnakes. So probably one of those. Or worse, a bunch of rattlesnakes. shudder

S.P.E.W.

Day Eight
Which character are you most like?

I spent far too long trying to come up with a character other than Hermione that I most resembled. It didn't work out so well. There are some distinct differences between Miss Granger and I--for one, she's much more show-offy than I am. And I've mellowed out in my fear of failure through the years. But if we took a trip down memory lane back to 2002-2005 (my dreaded high school years),  we'd find a girl not too far from the personality of Hermione.

The Evidence:
1. I did the bulk of my reading in high school. I still read a lot now, but back then I could easily finish off four or five books a week. My backpack contained more novels than textbooks.
2. Crazy frizzy hair. If all of the photos weren't packed away, I'd find evidence.
3. A general lack of social skills.
4. This insane need to over-schedule myself. In my planning meeting for my senior year, my mom looked over my schedule of five AP classes, orchestra, religion, and teacher's aiding in the counseling center and asked, "Honey, aren't you going to take any fun classes?" I was dumbfounded. "But Mom...those are fun for me."
5. The only time I got a B+ in high school was during my chemistry AP class. I came home and sobbed. Seriously, it was bad.
6. Also, sometimes I'd get called Hermione. That's not really a good sign.

But then I went away to college and served a mission and other things happened in my life. These days, I'm much more like Luna Lovegood, whom J.K. Rowling herself called the "anti-Hermione." I suppose I don't mind that comparison at all.

Professor Kettleburn has retired in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs.

Day Seven
What class would you most want to take?

I'd give anything to take Care of Magical Creatures and Charms. No real reason why, except that they seem like fun. If my past high school career is any indication, I'd probably also be really good at arithmancy and potions. I would have absolutely no patience for divination.

She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named

Day Six
Favorite villain.

If by favorite, you mean "least favorite character to ever grace the pages of the book and I sincerely wish I could  have them trampled by centaurs, resurrected, and trampled by centaurs AGAIN and AGAIN and AGAIN"...that person would be Dolores Umbridge. Is it considered a sin to have those thoughts even if the person in question is FICTIONAL?

Can I have a look at Uranus, Lavender?

Day Five
Favorite pairing.

I contemplated making a Harry/Hermione joke here, but I can't bring myself to do so. You know why? Because I am a sane person. GET OVER IT, shippers.

As evidenced by yesterday's prompt, I have a deep love for all things Tonks and Lupin. When they first hooked up, I knew that it was just right. Even though they don't get a lot of page time, I still get warm, fuzzy thoughts in my heart when I think about those two. And then I get stabby feelings in my heart towards J.K. Rowling because of what happened. (And then I think about Ron & Hermione, Harry & Ginny, Arthur & Molly, etc. and all the good feelings come rushing back.)

Fourteen-year-old me would like to make the point that her favorite pairing was the one between her and Oliver Wood.

Runner-up: Aberforth Dumbledore

Day Four

Name your top three favorite characters.

1. Sirius Black

2. Fred and George Weasley (I figure that's good enough for a tie. If I could have gotten away with listing the whole Weasley family, I would have.)

3. Nymphadora Tonks

Real runner-up: Remus Lupin

Does anyone else notice a theme? 

PoP, Edition 18

Music
Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme; Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel
These are both a part of my music education. I know enough S&G to recognize probably 75% of the songs on these albums, but I like seeing how their music works as a whole. Both are beautiful--I feel like I can't judge one against another, at least not without having listened to the other three albums first. Plus, this reminds me of one of my all-time fave Far Side comics...you know, the one with the Art Garfunkel fan club and there are only about six people in attendance? I miss Gary Larson.

Everybody by Ingrid Michaelson
I like to think that if I wrote songs, they'd be a lot like Ingrid's. However, I don't write songs. While she gets fabulous record deals and recognition, I'm stuck barely affording sweaters from Old Navy. Her third CD doesn't seem too vastly different from her first two, but it is upbeat and quirky and reliable.

Books
Forest Born by Shannon Hale
If you were to ask me, "Gretchen, what's your favorite of Shannon's Bayern books?" I would immediately reply, "It's a four-way tie. Duh." I really, honestly don't have a favorite because I love them all. I was a little bit unsure about Rin's story and it took me a while to get into the book. By the end Rin had completely won me over--partly because of her inner struggles and partly because of her interactions with the other characters. I could easily read one thousand more books with Isi, Enna, Razo, and the gang.

Little Vampire Women by Louisa May Alcott and Lynn Messina
I didn't actually finish this book. If you haven't guessed already, it's a re-telling of Little Women, but with the March sisters as vamps. I know lots of people are into this whole classics-done-with-mythical-characters thing and if you are, I think that's great and you would love this book because it's very well done. For me, Little Women is one of my absolute favorite books of EVER and far too sacred to alter. To each their own.

Paranormalcy by Kiersten White
When I finished Paranormalcy, I immediately tweeted Kiersten--NYT bestselling author, mind you--to tell her that I loved her book and then she replied to say thanks and that she liked my twitter handle. Say what you will about the internet, but that is Just Plain Cool. Paranormalcy is everything Twilight wished it could be. The plot is dangerous and fast-paced, the writing is tight (there's some room for improvement), and the romance is legitimately steamy-yet-chaste. I can't wait to see how the rest of the series plays out.

Movies
Annie Hall
See above re: education, except this time with movies. Annie Hall wasn't immediately my favorite movie of all-time. I'm not great at critiquing movies, so I can honestly say that I thought it was a little bit weird. That being said, Woody Allen intrigues me enough to continue researching his stuff.

Television
Community, Season One
HOLY WAR. I watched all of Season One in quick succession...and now I'm watching it a second time around because it's THAT GOOD. (Or, because it's streets ahead, as Pierce would say.) Community follows a study group enrolled at Greendale Community College--seven misfits that are "annoying but loveable." The madcap story lines fit in nicely with more pop culture references than you can catch in one sitting and some seriously explosive cast chemistry. (Ha. Get it? Explosive? I also went to college.) Also, last week's zombie episode was one of the best episodes of tv that I've seen in a long time. Listen, I'll probably do a longer geek-out post when I'm done, so I'll leave you with this.

Expecto Patronum

Day Three 
What would your patronus be?

I love this question so much I want to marry it. A later question will cover the topic of what my animagus would be, but for today, let's focus on my patronus. Patronuses (patroni?) are conjured upon thoughts of happiness, so naturally mine would be something very near and dear to my heart. That's right, folks, mine would be a lioness--loyal, protective, and totally fierce.

Yeah, imagine that coming at you all silvery and magical. What what! There's nothin' that can bring that down.

Pig Snout

Day Two 
List your favorite movies in order of favorite to least favorite.

1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
2. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
3. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
4. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
6. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

I look at the movies and the books in very different ways. I'm not very into the movie series because for me, the movies can never, ever replicate the magic of the books. But that doesn't mean I don't get excited about them--I get giddy whenever I think about the release of Deathly Hallows. Obviously, I am a PoA girl ALL THE WAY. But I've only seen Goblet of Fire a couple of times and I saw Order of the Phoenix once in theaters and I refuse to watch it again because I hated it that much.

(A couple of you have mentioned that you are stealing the idea. I think that's a fabulous idea, especially since I stole it in the first place. If anyone else wants to jump on the bandwagon, come on! All the cool kids are doing it!)

Hoggy Woggy Hogwarts

In a mere ten minutes before I would forever fail NaBloPoMo, I made the decision to compete, using the 30 Days of Harry Potter (found here) as my template. I'll still be blogging about other stuff, even though I currently suck at that, but this seemed like a fun way to celebrate my very own self-proclaimed month of Harry Potter.

Day One
Number the books in order of favorite to least-favorite.
1. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
2. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
3. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
4. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
6. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
7. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets