Office Recap, "Blood Drive"

Gosh, it's so nice to have my Thursday nights filled with meaning once more. TMI? Tonight's episode was all about the Valentine's Day love. "But Gretchen," you say, "Wasn't V-Day three weeks ago?" Yes, dear reader. Yes, it was. But due to weird scheduling things and the so-called digital switch, the higher-ups decided it would be March sweeps instead of February sweeps, which totally threw off my groove.

The cold open has Pam turning down the new phone guy, because those phones would do 95% of her job. She can't even hold the position of "best-candy-putter-outer" because a vending machine could do that. Ah yes, but would they look as cute while doing so? I submit not. Jim jumps to the rescue as Michael Scott (a role he's rather good at--see "Halloween") and they all go into a bizarro Fonzie routine. "What was that?" "That was funny." Yeah...not really.

*theme song*

The huge blood drive van announces that there's a blood drive at the office. You know, just in case you missed out on the title. It is the first Valentine's for Jim and Pam as an engaged couple and the first for Michael without Holly. It's okay, Michael. It's out first without her, too. It's really hard for the office to be around JAM and their general sexiness...so sexy it's hostile. (Did anyone else salute to themselves while saying "General Sexiness"? Just me then? Okay.) This is a very Kevin-centric episode--he's sans Stacey. Actually, it's a rather depressing holiday all around. Kelly's only getting love from her dentist, Oscar is no longer with Gil, Angela doesn't have anyone but her expensive cats, Dwight is getting over Ang, and Andy is off hot-air balloning and couples-massaging in Napa Valley.

 

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Michael and Kevin can't stand the sight of Jim and Pam being all lovey-dovey, so they ban them from the office and make Pam take her pretty flowers off the desk. Honestly, I didn't think they were being lovey-dovey enough if you catch my drift and I think you do. The DM singles' crew talks about their worst break-ups in the conference room. It's a good moment, albeit very awkward. The most revealing part is that Angela has had two men duel over her...twice. (Their names? John Mark and John David.)

Michael heads down to the blood van to do some donating and I've clearly been watching too much Buffy because I think to myself, "Man, it's a really good thing they're doing this during the day." The blood waitress (loved that) starts to draw blood and the girl around the corner starts to chatter. She's nice, pretty, and giggles at Michael's jokes. Michael gets in a few good cracks about being a juice box of Hawaiin Blood Punch, Type Ooooocean Spray. This is a handy reminder of why people like Michael upon first impression--he has the ability be very funny. Too bad Michael hadn't eaten for three days because he passes out and never gets her name. He does, however, get her glove. (Side note: The first time I gave blood, I got really light-headed when I looked at the bag. His wooziness is a Real Thing.)

The company party gets extended to a full office park mixer. Dwight starts to hit on an Angela-type, only to find out that she uses a lot of paper. (“So where does a woman as charming as yourself find herself employed on a day such as today?") Kevin meets this really sweet lady and almost ruins his chances by talking about Stacey too much. He redeems himself at the last moment and they swap emails. Yay! It's nice to see him win one. Michael plays "Cupid's Sparrow" for a while and tries to hook up Meredith with some guy by talking about her recent hysterectomy. Dude...it's been five years. Get over it.. Glove Girl never shows up, but seeing the office support him through that particular hurdle added a nice emotional component.

Oh yeah...the B-plot involving Jim & Pam and Phyllis & Bob Vance was completely unremarkable. They go out to dinner and tease each other in that half-awkward double date fashion and then Phyllis & Bob Vance disappear right before the food arrives. I liked the banter and the reaction to Phlob's whereabouts, but it wasn't terribly interesting or creative. Also, kind of icky.

 Other bits and pieces I liked...Dwight's hatred of the man who invented seat belts for messing with natural selection and his ability to retract certain body parts into himself. Jim saying that you only get engaged once, present company excluded. Michael's end voice-over about princesses and Cinderella (and by the same token, Kelly clasping her hands to her heart and cheering that Michael's situation was "just like a modern-day Enchanted!"). Oh, and the tag with Creed stealing the blood was awesome.

All around, it was a solid episode, but was it sweeps-worthy? I'm gonna have to say no.