So, um, remember how I'm going on a mission? Today's the one-month mark of when I leave. (Edit: I wrote this last night, so technically it was one month yesterday.)
Excuse me while I freak out for a moment.
It's so strange because now I really have to face up to the fact that I am indeed leaving. Everything's turned into a series of lasts. I think to myself, "Oh, this is the last time I'll probably ever wear this shirt." "What if this is the last time I ever hear that cd?" "Maybe I won't see this person again for the next 19 months. Or maybe for the rest of my life! Actually, I'd be okay with that."
And I haven't been blogging about it much because there isn't much to say yet. I've been packing and shopping and doing some studying and that's about it. One of the hardest things so far is the shopping. It absolutely kills me to be at the stores when all their cute new sping lines come out and I have to be all, "Oh, I'll just be over here looking for ANOTHER black skirt and maybe a blazer and if I'm lucky, a button-down shirt that I won't have to iron!"
There are times when I am so sure about what I'm going off to do. And yet, there are moments when I think about the scary parts and then I wonder if I can't just take a year and a half off to travel Europe. I'd read all of the past Pulizter prize winners for fiction and then watch the complete series of The Wire. I'd also learn Italian and write the Great American Spec Script. I try not to think about this too much because it's too unrealistically tempting. But I don't regret my choice at all. I don't even think it's crossed my mind to regret it because I am positive that this is the right thing for me. The BFF told me tonight that she could tell I'd entered into full-on "missionary mode" which I assume is like changing from a regular kid into an Animorph.
So even though I wonder how my life might be different if I hadn't gone, I also wonder how my life is going to change for the better once I'm out there. Except more posts in the upcoming month about things like what I'm going to miss (Harry Potter 6, for starters--I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive the person that switched the release date) and what I'll actually be doing in Vancouver and how to keep in touch with me, etcetera.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
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22 comments:
I'm excited/nervous/freaking out for you!!! I'm going to France this summer (only for 5 weeks though) and while my trip will be a lot less of everything that yours will be, I'm still scared!
I'm sure this next mothn will fly by! Would you believe that I didnt' join the peace corps because if what I would miss while I was gone. I'm glad you're stronger than me.
See, they didn't even think about people in your situation when they decided to push HP back. How rude!
Several of my guy friends have gone on missions. They were all changed by the experience.
Wow! You were given a lot of time to worry about freaking out. From the day I got my call to the day I entered the MTC was 4 1/2 weeks.
I can't say much for missions (I served for 4 months before I got sick & got sent home) except for these three things:
1. It will be the hardest thing you will do in your life and will make everything else easier because you did this one thing.
2. You will change. Try to fight it I dare you. I get a letter from Tennessee every Thursday. Unlike you, my Melinda never wanted to go on a mission. She hated the idea of being away from her woods, plants, animals - oh and me - but she went any way. She complained the first 2 months about how much God hated her and how she wasn't getting anything done and how miserable she was. But the mission even changed her. Now each letter I get is better than the last and sure it's hard but she can't imagine doing anything but being there. you will love God more than you thought was possible.
3. I will never think more highly of you than when you are on your mission. You have done so much for me (things I doubt you know or even really think about) but I am more grateful to missionaries and their sacrfice than what you've done so far. If it wasn't for two yound missionaries in 1969 knocking on my mother's apartment door, she would not be a member and I would have been left to struggle through this earth in a much worse state. no matter what you do on your mission, if it is the Lord's will, I will be grateful to you.
So freak out now, because once you are out there - there is an important work to be done.
Oh, wow! I hadn't even realized you leave in less than a month. -is a bit stunned- I'll miss reading your quirky posts on here and seeing you around the Twitterverse. Hopefully we'll talk while you're in Vancouver? It might be scary now, but I'm sure you'll have an absolutely amazing time on your mission. :D
Animorphs, FTW!
I'm gonna miss you.
I seriously cannot believe you just referenced Animorphs. You are, like, my hero. (I own every single one of those puppies, and I've read them all at least three times.)
Awesome, girl! I love it when I hear of a woman going on a mission. I'm the ONLY ONE in my ward who wants to even consider going. So, you're a role model for me. Kudos to you!!!
Wow! I'm really excited for this new journey of yours, whatever it may bring. I think that with something like this, your life can only change for the better!
Ahhh..the days of building anxiety prior to the mission. Just as a hindsight bit of balm for the sores of mission life (ie lack of fashion and media)....One really big plus about a mission is that it makes marriage adjustment a breeze, b/c you learn to love someone during your mission that you didn't choose to be with and you have to be with them 24/7 (literally) and then you get married, and it's a cake walk b/c you actually CHOSE to be with that person.
I know it will be hard to pick up and leave like that, but it shows a lot about you and your courage. I know I wouldn't have the strength to do it.
If it will help you out, we can all spend the next month telling you how HP 6 actually won't be any good. After all, I've heard nothing but bad things about those books and movies. ;)
Oh wow, it's only a month? I thought you weren't leaving till fall!
i love animorphs.
and we are going to be at the midnight showing... maybe we'll send pictures your way. Canada style.
Stefanie--France? I had no idea, that's so cool!
Megkathleen--Thanks and I love that you posted while on vicodin.
Ashley--I know, it was terribly inconsiderate of them. :)
Sean--Thank you so much for your advice. I will be re-reading it on a regular basis. Serious.
Cassandra--Yeah, it's coming up quick. You better keep in touch!
Seven--I'm gonna miss you too! A lot!
Ashley--Dude, Animorohs were the BEST.
Georgie K. Buttons--Thanks for the nice compliment! I hope you do get to serve.
EP--You leave the best comments. Did you know that?
Miriam--Excellent point.
Craig--Yeah, I hear they're totally over-rated.
Carlita--I'd love for you to send me pics of all the midnight showing madness. Confession: I have dressed up for HP midnight showings in the past.
Wow wow wow. Good luck. :)
(And if you wanna exchange letters, remember, just let me know.)
I'm a bit behind on my reader, but I just wanted to say again that I think this is really exciting! This is going to be a great experience for you!
I think you will be very okay.
I am so excited for you. When is your farewell? Will and I definitely want to come. You'll be a great missionary!
No bloggins or twittering? Ack! O_o Did not think of that. I will MISS you!
I promise you, when you come home, your life will be waiting for you and it will launch off. When you put things of eternal value first, the lord takes care of you. And he does a much better job than anyone else could. ;) He totally knows what he's doing.
And keep track of any good material for that spec script.
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