That's Like Comparing Apples To Some Fruit Nobody's Ever Heard Of!

I've officially hit that slump that seems to have affected the blogosphere these days, so in lieu of anything substantial, you get a picture of the Lil' Bro channeling George Michael Bluth.


Shall we compare?


My dad paid him five bucks to wear the shirt on vacation, which he gladly did. He'll do anything for money.

Michael Cera, if you ever need a stunt double, just give me a call! Or, you know, call if you'd like to meet an older girl who has a borderline-creepy crush on you. (It's even creepier now that he reminds me of my brother......I've made a huge mistake.)

Kickin' It

Back to school mixtape--click through to listen (Direct link)

A Walk To Remember

Dim lights, soft music, sweaty palms, heart beating madly...

This would be a much better story if that was describing, say, a date I just got back from, but sadly it's not.
This is a tale of why I don't exercise.

It was a perfectly lovely Saturday, one of those late summer days where you manage to do plenty, and yet, nothing at all. I did some internet window shopping and took the time to do an extra-good job of shaving my legs. There was a fabulous book signing and homemade pancakes for dinner. I also started watching this little tv show called Wonderfalls. I'm only three episodes in, but it’s good. Bryan Fuller (the creator) is also the genius behind Pushing Daisies and I would be willing to do anything he asked me to do if he promises to keep making great television. Especially if he happened to need me for a make-out scene with Lee Pace. Go ahead. Ogle. I’ll wait.


Yum. But back to the story…my parents got home from a drive around 8:30. Who goes on drives with gas prices the way they are in Utah? We have the highest average in the nation, which is gross.

Then this occurred.

Dad: Are you planning on doing anything besides watching five hours of tv?

(I wasn’t.)

Me: Of course I am. Gosh!

(I sounded disturbingly like Napoleon Dynamite at that moment.)

Dad: If you say so...

(At which point I’m pretty sure he went upstairs to watch tv.)

After the episode wrapped up, I stretched and sighed. Grabbing my iPod and phone, I hollered up to the folks that I was going for a walk. So…I walked. Over to the high school, because I thought I’d check out the track. See, I’ve had these grand plans in my mind for a long time that I will eventually go running on a regular basis. This is hard for me because I’m a lousy runner, but I realize that I need to exercise more, especially if I’m going to be at a desk for forty hours a week. I’m sooooo not a morning person, so that’s really not an option. Getting back in shape would be a definite bonus. I figure it could also be a good way to blow off the steam of a) working all day and b) living at home.

It took me a semester or two to adjust to living on my own. However, once I went home during that first break from school, I positively couldn’t wait to get back. Apartment life suited me well. Now here I am, living at home for who knows how long. There are many perks, like a stocked pantry, air conditioning, and a laundry room that doesn’t cost $2 a load to use. At this exact moment, though, I’m missing my wireless internet, the cupboard of Pringles and kettle corn, and the ability to do whatever I darn well please on the weekends.

I made it down to the stadium in ten minutes, only to find it under super-tight security. The football field was re-done and I guess it’s still under construction, something like 18 months later. You can build movie theaters in that time, so you’d think it would be finished by now. The fact of the matter is that the new field won’t make our football team any better, so it’s all a tad Sisyphean.

With the prospect of running on the track ruled out, I began to consider other possibilities. (There aren’t many.) I walked around the side of the high school and right by the doors to the G Hall there’s this guy kneeling. Definitely not a high schooler and it looked like he was wearing all camo or something. It probably wasn’t a big deal, but it was dark and late and unusual. I freaked out, because not only am a young female with shapely legs, but I read something like one hundred murder mystery books when I was in middle school. As a result, I’m very paranoid and also suffer from the delusion that if I do find a dead body, there will be a complicated trail leading to a showdown with the murderer. Ostensibly, the handsome sheriff will arrive at the last minute and save me. (I also ALWAYS wonder if there will be a dead body in the shower before I get in.)

I quickened my pace, turned down my music, and took an unwise detour down the darker part of the street. I made it back safely, but on the walk home, I realized something. What if I’m not ready to live on my own yet? If anything had happened, how would I have defended myself or who would I have called? If I do ever get to fulfill my dream of living in New York City, I have to be better prepared (and probably a better runner). A person can’t let the inconsequential things freak them out, but one must be cautious. I have some growing to do yet.

I guess even though it’s been an adjustment for my whole family to have me at home, it’s nice to have a dependable roof over my head. Besides, there are people who love me here and pancakes for dinner on a Saturday night.

Utah Towns That Sound A Lot Cooler

...Than They Probably Are In Real Life

Angel's Grove
Bonanza
Christmas City
Devil's Slide
Dragon (Trogdor!!1!)
Eggnog (It's now a goal of mine to visit here and Christmas City on the same day.)
Emerald Isle
Gooseberry
Koosharem (Say it out loud. Do it. Isn't that great?)
Lark
Little Bonanza
Mexican Hat (Dance)
Moonlight
Oasis (I hear this place is going to be bigger than the Beatles!)
Paradise
Pickleville (Hee!)
Rainbow
Shivwits (See: Koosharem)
Thermo
Unicorn Towne (I may be making this one up, but the rest are totally real.)
Wheatgrass

And just to put things in perspective, here are some Utah locations that very aptly describe what they're like in real life (or so I imagine).

Bone Valley
Coal City
Coyote
Desert Mound
Dry Fork
Fish Springs
Little Water
Mound City
Old Limber Pine
Pigeon
Standardville

Standardville? For real? Way to really promote yourselves, guys. When I name a city, it's going to be called Awesomeville.

I Found My Thrill

I've had this recipe for Blueberry Gelato bookmarked for over a month now, and I finally got to give it a whirl. I'm an ice cream connoisseur, but if anything can topple my love for ice cream, it's gelato. Creamier, prettier, and less fat! Can I get an amen?!

The deliciously subtle blueberry flavor played off the tart lime accent beautifully. It was extremely simple and mixed up very well in our ice cream maker. Wouldn't the color make a beautiful couch or something? I'll for sure make the blueberry flavor again, but I'm itching to try a few other kinds first.

Top Three: Flavors of Gelato I Really Want To Make
1. Caramelized Pear
2. Peach Raspberry
3. Avocado

I know, the last one sounds totally bizarre, but at the same time, incredibly appealing (to me, at least).
Thanks, as always, to Rachel for feeding (pun) my love of trying new foods.

"Lovely Tonight" Is Another Good Song Choice

I should not be blogging right now, because I got a temporary job for the next two weeks and I start tomorrow. Praises to TPTB (the powers that be) for some source of income. Anyhoo, I actually had a semi-eventful weekend, which is rare. Here's the briefest of rundowns.

Friday: I slept in waaaaay late. (Dear sleeping in, I'm gonna miss you like crazy. Don't ever forget me! Love times infinity, Gretchen) I went to Kohl's and Target with my padre and the Lil' Bro. I picked up a navy headband and skinny jeans from the Simply Vera Wang line for less than $10. I know they're not real Vera Wang, but it's as close as I can get at this point in my life. Stokage!

My friend Kevin took me to the Joshua Radin concert. LISTEN. If you aren't familiar with Josh Radin yet, you need to head over to Myspace or youtube or Last.fm and check him out. (Points if you literally check him out, because he's also one attractive fellow. Think Jess from Gilmore Girls.) His new album comes out September 9th and I reviewed his EP here. He puts on a killer show--his specific brand of music is kinda "Whisper Rock." Hardcore, but quiet. It's very much Simon & Garfunkel. Also, holy cats, is he a good live performer.
I picked up a sweet t-shirt and I totally got to meet him afterward. We went up to the bar to take pictures with him and I got carded for the first time in my life. Relax, it was just so I could get into the bar in the first place--there was zero imbibing. Radin's very funny and down-to-earth. For the record, I side-hugged someone who has presumably side-hugged Zach Braff, as they're really good friends. This makes me far more excited than it should.

Saturday: I worked on re-organizing my room and made a new inspiration board. I love that I have the time now to expend my creative energy. My mom and I went to a trumpet performace at the Assembly Hall. Decent, with all the required trumpet jokes. ("We're thinking about releasing a cd about the end of the world! We'll probably call it Apoca-lips.") I watched the Olympics and freaked out about the 8-medal run for my boy Phelps.

Sunday: Church...dinner at Grandma's...nap. I also got to meet the BFF's new beau. He's a total gold digger. Like, literally. That's his job.

Alright, I've got to hit the sack.

P.S. Seriously, go listen to Josh Radin. I recommend "Star Mile," "Closer," "Sky," and also EVERYTHING ELSE he's ever done. You'll thank me later.

Top Ten: Things I Heart About The Olympics

1. The Sports Page--It's the one time I actually fight for it.

2. The Beijing Water Cube--So simply designed yet visually impressive, especially when it's lit up.

3. Michael Phelps' Shoulder Blades--That arm twist thing he does makes me weak at the knees. Also, I'm dying to know what's on his playlist.

4. The Star-Spangled Banner--When it starts to play and the flag raises up and the Olympian sings along...just wow.

5. Shawn and Nastia--Really, I love watching the frenemy dynamic of the girl's gymnast team.

6. The Commercials--For the first week, at least. By the second week, I'm all "Another ad for Home Depot? COME ON!" But I'm never going to get sick of the United Airline ads with Gershwin music.

7. Highlights On The Olympiads--Kirsty Coventry is so my new girl crush.

8. Ryan Lochte's Hair--Love.

9. Past Olympic Memories--I've been thinking back to the 2002 Olympics in SLC. It was a great distraction from an otherwise lousy time in my life. I was lucky enough to be there when the USA Women's Bobsled Team brought home gold.

10. Watching People Watch The Olympics--For two reasons...
a) All of a sudden, everyone in the room is an expert on whatever sport's on the tube. "Oh, she should not have done that last half-twist at the end. What was she thinking?"
b) I'm a pretty passive sports-watcher, but during the Olympics I get seriously into it, as does my family. We're talking edge-of-the-couch, yelling-at-the-tv fans: "PICK UP THE PACE, SONI!" Even when I'm just by myself, I still throw pillows at the tv.

Radiant

BTW, I'm guest posting over at Squeaky Books today. The site is run by Enna Isilee, who's the biggest Shannon Hale fan I know. I'm talking about my favorite Kid Lit books, so please give it a read!

Wordless Wednesday: Vacation Slide Show

There's A Calm Surrender

Michael reminded me the other day that I had yet to pick a winner for his awesome, really cool, beyond-belief-amazing guest giveaway. Yeah, I think that sums it up pretty well. The deal was that I would get to pick the person who left me the nicest compliment. In return, those people get a compliment from me! And then we will all hold hands and sing Elton John.

To Michael: Thanks for doing this--it was really cool. You're crazy talented with web design and you crack me up with your tweets.

To Elisabeth: If I had to cite the people that influenced me to start a blog, you'd be very high on the list. I love how you're so knowledgeable about so many things.

To Brooke: Dude, you've got some pretty mad mixtape skillz yourself. I know I've said this before, but we would so be friends in real life.

To Golfwidow: Chuck Norris guest blogs for Golfwidow.

To Jenn: You're a fantastic blogger. It's the perfect mix of personal anecdotes and cool web stuff all tied together with your quirky humor.

To Edge: I think you're going to be a very famous author someday.

To Chilly: My dear Chilly, I heart you! You're a great photographer and the best internet friend a girl could ask for.

To Srah: Incredibly witty--you know how to tell a good story. Also, you sent me a ton of Dr. Horrible flair on Facebook, which rocked.

To Dr. Bolte: Like you said, you're a rebel! I am sure of the fact that you're a remarkable inspiration to many people.

If I could, I'd give you all something, but the prize goes to Edge. Yay! Your compliment was sweet and sincere. You're going have a blast at college--hopefully some new music and other fun stuff will help with the transition. Shoot me an email or facebook message with your address and I'll pass it along.

Alright, who's up for a little Someone Saved My Life Tonight?

All I Ever Wanted

What time is it? It's vacation recap time! Much, much later than I intended, but I have three very good excuses reasons.
1. How I Met Your Mother
2. The Time-Traveler's Wife
3. The Olympics/Michael Phelps

July 23: We flew out of SLC and got into Cleveland in the early afternoon. I'm not scared of flying, per se, but it still kind of gives me the wiggins if I think about it too much. I started reading Marian Keyes' Watermelon and listened to the in-flight radio. It played the Watson Twins, which basically made my morning. We paid a ridiculous amount of money to get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and I learned that I should always carry my school ID card, even if you're done with school. Real-life lesson #1! Anyhow, the Hall of Fame rocked (pun!). When it comes to music, I'm an old soul, so I enjoyed every minute of it. I did miss out on seeing Chubby Checker live, because I thought he was dead and it was an impersonator. Guess not!

July 24: We drove from Cleveland to Kirtland, Ohio. Our trip was heavy on the LDS church history sites, which was pretty cool. We did the Newel K. Whitney Store and a bunch of other old homes. Lunch was super late, and I get really cranky when I don't eat on time. It was my first and hopefully last time to eat at Red Lobster. We also went to the Kirtland Temple, which is owned by the Community of Christ. Fascinating, but it had a completely different spirit than the other sites. I got sick from something I ate and spent the car ride to New York writhing in pain. That's a tad melodramatic, but it still wasn't fun. I watched Lars and the Real Girl at the hotel--it's a great movie in many respects.

July 25: Niagra Falls! I'd been to the falls before (around age eight) and I remember being thoroughly unimpressed. It's just a bunch of water, right? Wrong! The Maid of the Mist was by far the highlight. It was gorgeous and powerful. We hit the Cave of the Winds (not actually a cave--disappointing!) but before you go, they give you sandals so your shoes don't get wet. That's my kind of tourist attraction--one that provides you with free footwear. Lunch was at this fantastic little restaurant in a hotel, where I learned that I still don't like normal onions, but I LOVE pearl onions and french onion soup. Mmmm. Oh, funny story! My dad wrote my blog address in the visitor book. I wonder if anyone actually noticed it and decided to check it out. The IMAX movie was a complete joke, but I still left thinking that Niagra Falls is amazing.

July 26: Palmyra, New York is another big church history site. We saw where the original Book of Mormon was printed. Since I'm a nerd and love learning about book-making, I had a blast. We met up with some family friends and did some work at the local temple. We also went to the Hill Cumorah and ate at Mark's Pizzeria. (That one's for you, Chilly!) I wanted to go see a movie, but the sole movie theater within miles was only showing The Dark Knight, which my mom refused to watch. Instead, I think we just hung out at the hotel.

July 27: All I remember was that we went to church and the Erie Canal. Oh, we also spent some time in Palmyra at the Joseph Smith homes and the Sacred Grove. Amazingly spiritual and perfect for a Sunday. Another memorable thing was the spectacularly awful ribs that I ate for dinner. (I think it's pretty apparent that I associate travel with food.)

July 28: The morning was spent in Fayette, New York at the Peter Whitmer home. The sister missionaries that showed us around were so good. This was probably one of the highlights of my trip. Not many people get to visit sites where they know their ancestors set foot. We spent some time by the Finger Lakes and went to Ithaca, home of Cornell University and alma mater of Andy Bernard. It is the Ivy League University that he attended, after all. Tip #1: The Cornell dairy makes an excellent french vanilla ice cream cone. Tip #2: There's this restaurant called the Rogue's Inn that was by far the best meal I had during the vacation. It had chicken and olives and pepperoni in a light cream sauce with Rigatoni noodles. Sooooo good.

July 29: There was really no set plan for the day, which usually is how I like my vacations. This doesn't apply if you're in Buffalo, New York. What a downer city! We did take a boat tour, which I spent reading Atonement. I finally got to visit a Dunkin Donuts, which they don't have in Utah. Dear Utah, please remedy that a.s.a.p. Kthx.

July 30: The last day is usually sad, but I was glad to be coming home. We made a short pit stop at the original house where A Christmas Story was filmed. It wasn't open to the public that day, so we just got pictures. There was much quoting of the best Christmas movie ever. My favorite picture is one of the Lil' Bro looking in the mailbox for his Little Orphan Annie Decoder Ring. ("Be sure to drink your Ovaltine. A crummy commercial? Son of a...!") The flight back was uneventful, expect for the fact that I was watching The Holiday and our portable dvd player ran out of batteries about ten minutes before it would have been over. Granted, I've seen that movie more times than is healthy, but still! Then, it was back to the land of mountains and deserts.

Overall, it was a great experience. It was a wonderful strengthening of my faith and beliefs. Plus, I have missed the east coast like crazy ever since we moved from Virginia. There's just something about the trees and rain and people that I adore. I don't know what it is, but you guys are doing something right.

Picture preview! Me rocking and rolling at the Hall of Fame:

And Blood On My Typewriter Keys

I'm still not at full YEAH! capacity (/Lloyd Dobler) but I'm feeling much better.

Okay, random but hilarious side story: When I was getting my cavities done recently, my dentist says to me, "All done! Isn't that a good filling? I mean, feeling?" groan...

Anyhow, before the vacation recap tomorrow (finally!), I thought I'd introduce the newest member of the Gretch-a-sketch family...

Ink in my Veins: A Tumble Blog


If you look at the archives, you'll notice it's been up for a couple months now. Your name vote was actually perfect because I didn't have to change a thing.

I'll update it whenever I get the fancy, with pictures and links and all manner of AWESOMENESS. Subscribe and/or follow me!

Do any of you have tumblr blogs or any good tumblr recommendations?

Top Three: Perks of being sick ALL FREAKING DAY

1. You notice the episode of Wishbone you watched was written by Mo Rocca. Which is just plain cool.

2. You figure it's an easier way to lose a few pounds than exercise.

3. The whole "being waited on hand and foot" thing is nice. Run to Redbox and pick up a movie? You got it! More saltines? Right away, ma'am!

Blerg. Even then, it's still not worth puking your brains out. Obviously, the other stuff I had planned will have to wait. Also, I would for reals buy Wishbone on DVD. I love that show.

CYOB: ThreeBot

You choose the option: "If you think Xinni should lower her guard and trust Jax's word..." from here. Start from the beginning of the Choose Your Own Blogventure: Sci-fi Edtion here. Finally, read the other choice you could have made here.

Xinni lifted her blaster from its holster and used it to tip up the head of the humanoid. She inspected the creature quickly, but effectively. The gun was pocketed and she harrumphed. “Jax, if this were anyone but you…”

Jax drew a breath. “Alright. We’ve got to get these guys out of here. Here’s the game plan—there are about fifty total further back in the cave, so we’ll each take half. I’ll go up and out the top and you can take yours the way you came. Copy?”

“And after?”

“I suppose we’ll convene at the base of the Tam River and go from there. Xinni, we’re a long way off from peace, but it’s a start. Thank you.” He placed a hand on her shoulder.

She stared at Jax in mild disbelief. This was more earnest than she expected, but she shook off his hand anyway. With that action, the sudden rush of emotion left.

The educated man walked up to the pair. “Xinni, I’m Joshua Kearns, one of the original Artlifes.” His old-fashioned name was a nod to the one of the creators of the computer system used in the human/robot hybrid. “I’ve seen things in this government that most humans wouldn’t dare to imagine. I shall fill you in later, as that’s neither here nor there. As of this instant, I’m concerned they’ve sent a ThreeBot after us. We are down to a matter of minutes.”

Xinni nodded and readied her blaster. Jax summoned the other humanoids from the dank crevice and split them up. “You lot, follow Xinni. Joshua, please keep an eye on her? She can be a handful.” Jax winked at the girl.

Her bundle of nerves from earlier had turned into a full-fledged knot. She led her crew down the green tunnel, hoping they were stealthy enough. A rumble echoed through the hall and Joshua pulled her back.

“We must retreat and follow Jax,” he commanded.

“Fine,” she spat, annoyed at being bossed around by a computer. They backed into the chamber and caught up with the rest of the group. Seemingly from nowhere, a laser beam glanced off the rock next to the corridor they were hustling through.

“What the…?” Jax exclaimed.

The ThreeBot entered the cavern—the deadliest piece of machinery ever produced.

“Anyone with a blaster stay with me!” Xinni yelled. “The rest of you get to safety!”

That left…Jax and Xinni. Long story short, they used their weapons to scorch a weak corner of the gleaming walls. The enclosure collapsed on itself, which effectively rendered the ThreeBot useless.

Jax reached out his hand to help Xinni up the passageway. She accepted.

“As if our enemies didn’t hate us enough, we had to go and eliminate their dangerous and ridiculously expensive ThreeBot,” Jax chortled once they were outside.

“Too true. You know what, Jax? We may not always get along, but we should be partners more often.”

He paused for a moment. “Yeah, I agree.”

And with that, she leaned in and kissed him.

Fin.