There are the obvious ones like Santa with a bag of gifts, a snow globe with penguins and snowmen, and ginormous round ornaments. The last one's the best, because can you imagine all the material you'd have for naughty jokes? Inflatable decorations cost upwards of a hundred dollars and I've seen homes with as many seven or eight. Seriously, go donate that money to Doctors Without Borders or something.
And what I don't get is that some people think this are truly the best thing to happen to Christmas decorations. Like this lady: "An inflatable outdoor Christmas decoration can turn a bare yard into a delightful display that people of all ages will love. Even though I sometimes look at the snow globe inflatable decoration with envy, I think that we made the right decision for our family." If this is you, I'm somewhat sorry if I've offended you. But only somewhat, because you're the one with a six-foot-high snowman in your yard that is very easily punctured. Just sayin'.
Let's examine the evidence.
(Please note the very popular theme of "Santa Doing Non-Traditional Stuff That Relates To Our Interests.")
Jeff Foxworthy would have a thing or two to say about Nascar Santa.
"Haha! Look at how clever this is, because Santa is wearing sunglasses and flying his sleigh with flamingos! When he's really from the North Pole! Isn't that just precious?!" Who in the name of Herbie the Elf thinks up this stuff?
The inflatable lawn decoration industry doesn't discriminate. (The patent has been secured for an inflatable Kwanzaa Candelabra, but unfortunately, I could not find an inflatable Festivus Pole.)
I'm pretty sure that leg has a cankle, which kind of draws away from the whole "soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the yard" effect.
This Santa is programmed to "climb" up the rope in an animated fashion. But from a certain angle, it looks like Santa can't take his high-stress work environment anymore and is finished with this cruel, cruel world.
Possible Taglines For My Campaign
Talk to your kids about inflatable lawn ornaments.
Only you can prevent inflatable holiday decorations.
Just say "no" to inflatable lawn ornaments.
Take a bite out of inflatable Christmas decorations!
Because a beautiful, tasteful, and festive yard is a terrible thing to waste.
YES WE CAN.
24 comments:
Gretchen, I adore you!
But I have to say, the leg lamp made me chuckle.
For a minute, I thought the leg lamp was a baby bottle. I still don't get why that would ever be a lawn ornament? Anyway, these damn things have reached Canada, too. They're awful. I sometimes yearn to take a lighter and melt a hole in some of the more obnoxious ones.
Oh my gosh. These are horrifying! One of my neighbours has a Santa and reindeer rigged up on their fence in a wholly precarious fashion. Santa looks like he's crashing and burning into the fence after a night of hard drinking.
I really don't understand the appeal.
I don't understand why people put them up. I think they are tacky and unnecessary. What part of a gigantic snow globe with Santa waving is beautiful?? My favorite are the ones that move and all the dogs bark constantly at its motion...
Amen.
The worst, I think, are the nativity scenes. How sacrilege is an inflatable Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus?
Ugh, so tacky.
we HATE them. Did you hear about the story where one guy got 7 of his 14 inflatables slashed, so he decided to take them down this year and not participate in the "christmas spirit" since the slasher ruined his spirit. matt and i both silently thanked the slasher. not that i'm a fan of mean people, but we hate them that much.
Word!
That leg makes me CRINGE.
I sort of really want some now...we can still be friends, right? (o:
My neighbors actually have a giant Santa and I always want to go punch it to see if it's like a Weeble and it wobbles but doesn't fall down.
Spencer and I drove around last night to look at lights...and had a talk about these, since we are now aquiring decor of our own. It was a short, quick, unanimous decision...NO to inflatables!
Oh my goodness! I was just having this conversation with some friends on Saturday night! Adam and I went to a small neighborhood because we had time to kill, and I saw no less than 4 of those stupid snowglobe inflatables.
And this creey ferris wheel thing. I want to go and pop all of them.
I think that people want to annoy people with their lawn ornaments.
I've totally seen Santa on a motorcycle in someone's lawn this year. And the next time I went by this house, it was sitting in a deflated mess on the lawn.
I effing hate these things. Seriously, I have a post coming about it because you can't walk down one block without seeing at least 4.
And thats only one ONE side of the street.
LOL!
I think worst is during the day when they're deflated and collapsed on the lawn! What do I tell my little kids? Sorry, honey, Santa died.
Isn't that bad for you lawn?
Those lawn ornaments are ugly as sin. And they're such energy wasters to boot!
But $100 a piece? I had no idea that people paid that much to look white trash. Who knew?
My parents live in borderline east-Texas. And these things are EVERYWHERE. One house near ours has five or six in their front lawn. I want to weep. And purchase a switchblade, and hear the hiss of escaping air...ahh :-P
The worst one I've ever seen was at the nursing home, Santa was stuck in the chimney with a reindeer hauling him out. It was kind of funny until you saw that it cost almost 200 dollars and that it was UGLY.
I'm glad someone finally has the courage to speak out on this issue. I'm behind you all the way.
I've never seen anyone with 7 or 8 of them, but I too have been effected by this plauge.
The house across the street from my dad's house has 3 of them. Not so bad, right? But they repeated. They have santa on a chopper on the roof...AND in the yard. Seriously? I mean, I guess they ARE both large, and they DO both ride choppers. Maybe one represents the husband and one represents the wife...? I just don't know what to make of it.
the bf's family has one. i just...there are no words. you've summed it up quite nicely.
I LOVE that you posted about this. I've been meaning to take pictures of houses in my neighborhood that went CRAZY with the blow ups, as I call them. And my house is guilty as well, as our landlords have a blow up penguin wearing a top hat in front of the house. At least it's not Santa with flamingos pulling his sled. That one is bizarre.
Umm, I just snorted while reading this. Really. They're tacky, and I hate them, too.
I might have to print this out and tack it to the people in building 24's door who thought the HUGE blow-up Frosty was a good idea. Sigh.
I think my favorites were the Homer Simpson one and the Christmas Story leg lamp. But seriously, who thinks up this stuff??
And at first glance at the rope-climbing one, I thought Santa was hanging himself. o.o
funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny funny
but the funniest part was the end with your slogans.
I am SO taking a picture of my neighbors house and sending it to you-- I swear they have at LEAST 50 of these things!!!
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