Office Recap, "Baby Shower"

Did we really only have to wait a week between episodes? That hasn't happened in, like, months! I usually have a class on Thursdays, so I tape the show on our VCR, 'cause we're ghetto like that. We don't even have a remote to the VCR, so if I want to fast-forward through the commercials, I have to get up and press the button. I can't wait to tell my kids about all the hardships I had to endure.

Where in the name of Anne Geddes did they procure so many fake vegetables? (via NBC)

You know what the sign of a true friend is? One who will fake-birth a watermelon so you can practice for the delivery of your ex-girlfriend's sperm donor baby. Michael attracts some insane friends, that much is for certain. Andy, ever eager to play the third wheel, jumps in to help but it ultimately shunned. I loved how Dwight drank out of the cup after his "water" "broke." In other weird food news, they also ate the birthing watermelon, which I imagine is probably more refreshing than placenta.

Jim and Pam are actually the least interesting of the plot lines for once.Conflicting schedules and new friends spell "Trouble" with a capital T which rhymes with fake angst. It's typical LDR stuff. Missed calls lead to nearly identical voice mails which proves they're totally in sync. Of course they are! It's Jim and Pam. (The Carpet featured a similar squee-worthy voice mail scene.) When do we get Pam back in the office?

Remember when Jan was just a high-strung corporate leader? I miss her. A lot. Crazy Jan should have been written off the show when she collapsed in on herself "like a dying star." That's what dying stars do. They go away. Anyhow, she got herself knocked up and bam! now she has a kid. A darling little girl named Astird. Or Astrid. Astird is funnier. She wisely choose not to call Michael at the time of delivery, because Michael should not be allowed in places with expensive equipment and tiny people. He's heartbroken and unsure about this new baby. Michael did have the sense to tell Holly beforehand that he would be treating her (and Ryan--ha!) poorly because she's all skinny and hot and Jan's not. Except Jan is hot again and Michael still treats her like she smells like old tomatoes and dirt. Also, can we not have Jan sing again? Ever? Kthx.

In one brief interaction with Holly, Jan is immediately able to sense that this is the kind of girl that could take Michael away. And in Holly's defense, her retort about the baby answering phones was very funny. Jan warns Michael that he can't date Holly (chillax, woman!) and in a rare moment of defiance, Michael goes and does just the opposite. He wraps Ms. Flax up in a tight hug and asks her out. Atta boy! It was like a sweeter, more innocent version of Casino Night. Maybe he's starting to finally see that he doesn't need the constant approval from those who are more successful. Ah, who are we kidding? I don't think Michael will ever grow out of that, but there was still a minuscule amount of character growth. With Michael, I'll take whatever progress I can get.

Dwight heroically tests out Jan's $1200 stroller for little Astrid.(Astird. Heh. Still laughing about this.) I'm pretty sure the makers don't even stress-test their product this much, but that's Dwight for you. He also pretends that there is a real baby inside and reacts accordingly. "Oh no, my child!" Goofy, but it's a good foil to the more complex Michael storyline.

Three throwaway moments that I really liked:

1. Dwight circumcised himself. Ha. (I'm so immature sometimes. Astird.)

2. Stanley suffers from some of the same symptoms as pregnant women, but he doesn't get any sympathy for it.

3. Darryl! There has never been a bad scene with Michael and Darryl in the history of The Office. 

Bonus: The montage with Michael and the babies was so cute. He'll make a great dad someday. Preferably to Holly's babies. Who biologically belong to him. Hey, a girl can dream, right?